Wednesday, October 25, 2006

New Found Love... for New Jersey!

Gotta love New Jersey now, not for being progressive, but rather for being realistic about equality:


HELD: Denying committed same-sex couples the financial and social benefits and privileges given to their married heterosexual counterparts bears no substantial relationship to a legitimate governmental purpose. The Court holds that under the equal protection guarantee of Article I, Paragraph 1 of the New Jersey Constitution, committed same sex couples must be afforded on equal terms the same rights and benefits enjoyed by opposite-sex couples under the civil marriage statutes. The name to be given to the statutory scheme that provides full rights and benefits to same sex couples, whether marriage or some other term, is a matter left to the democratic process.

As I have thought before, they can call it fruit loops for all I care, just as long as I have the same rights and obligations of my heterosexual counterparts.

I guess I now will need to go find my fruit loop and head to New Jersey.

A.B.

Monday, October 23, 2006

W. H. Auden - 'In Memory of W.B. Yeats'

The guy on Sunday recited this to me, from Auden:

Time that is intolerant
Of the brave and the innocent,
And indifferent in a week
To a beautiful physique,

Worships language and forgives
Everyone by whom it lives;
Pardons cowardice, conceit,
Lays its honours at their feet.

Time that with this strange excuse
Pardoned Kipling and his views,
And will pardon Paul Claudel,
Pardons him for writing well.

In the nightmare of the dark
All the dogs of Europe bark,
And the living nations wait,
Each sequestered in its hate;

Intellectual disgrace
Stares from every human face,
And the seas of pity lie
Locked and frozen in each eye.

Follow, poet, follow right
To the bottom of the night,
With your unconstraining voice
Still persuade us to rejoice.

A.B.

This weekend's dates

I had three dates this weekend: a Friday evening movie and dinner; a Saturday brunch and a Sunday evening cocktails and dinner, with three different guys.

FRIDAY: I had been out once before with this guy, an architect. An incredibly nice guy, he is becoming acquainted with a friend of mine and shortly prior to meeting my friend had contacted me on Friendster. I have enjoyed our two dates but didn't feel much of a connection and will need to speak to him about that. I hope he can become a friend.

SATURDAY: This guy contacted me on gay.com. He just recently moved to the city. Very talkative and a little to pushy. I have received several e-mails a day from him. After our brunch, we each went our separate ways and that evening he sent me an instant message asking if I would like to go out to the movies on Sunday. On Sunday, I knew I was going to have a busy day with work (deal signing) and thus wouldn't be available. I let him know and on Monday morning he e-mailed me asking whether the deal had signed. I let him know it did and he responded with "Great. Now I'll have you all to myself". He has sent several messages of this type both prior to and after meeting on Saturday for brunch and it feels slightly stressful. We barely know each other and he has already thrown out the topic of exclusivity as well. Not seeing much of a future.

SUNDAY: I was on gay.com while on conference calls on Sunday and a guy sent me a message. I read his profile and saw his pictures. I thought he was attractive and we had a conversation over Instant Messenger. He asked if I would be up for meeting for a drink and I ventured. We settled on meeting at G Bar in Chelsea at 6.30pm. We met, had a couple of drinks and then decided to grab dinner. We went to this Thai restaurant on 8th Ave. After dinner, we decided to grab coffee at *$$ to continue our conversation. Throughout the evening, I had to keep checking my blackberry every time it went off because of the darn transaction that was supposed to sign (it did sign, at 4 am Monday morning). I found him to be very nice, quite possibly because he was born and raised abroad and moved to New York to pursue a degree in fashion and then ended up staying here. I'm hoping we will get together soon.

Although it is fun to meet people, I am growing a bit tired of having to balance it all out. Too much work involved in it.

A.B.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Dinner...

Went to the gym last night, felt like I needed a workout. My gym attendance has been spotty lately, between work and social commitments. Alas, I felt the need and went. Saw many new people at the gym and bumped into someone I had met at Opus 22 one Sunday over the Summer. We chatted briefly, he asked how I was doing, and about the guy I was dating. I briefed him and then he brought up The Devil Wears Prada and said that from now on he would call me "6" because of the whole Stanley Tucci/Anne Hathaway conversation regarding her dress size. It made me chuckle.

Anyhow, walked out from the gym and grabbed dinner... My gym has a 'wich craft, so I ordered what turned out to be an amazingly tasty sandwich: grilled cheddar, smoked ham, pear and mustard on cranberry-pecan bread. Tantalizing! I had a glass of valpolicella at home with it and just kicked back. Wonderful way to wind down.

A.B.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Dove Beauty Campaign

I have to hand it to Dove, for actually "making it real". By analogy, gay men are also subject to the same distortive effect of advertising. I haven't seen a picture yet in HX, Next or Metrosource of a regular guy. Dont' get me wrong, they can be nice to look at, but the entirety of advertising/marketing efforts are skewed; feelings of inadequacy can't be helped.

So, next time I need 6-pack abs, I'll just photoshop them in. I am sure there is a feature in PhotoShop to do that.

Consider this:



A.B.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

This Monday Surely Didn't Get Me Down!

Work was blah today... little things coming back to my desk, conference calls that got delayed, drafting that was just tortuous. But then, an e-mail. A reminder. L.J., my friend C.C.'s friend, e-mailed. A.B., just writing to confirm you will be coming to the benefit tonight, for the Actor's Fund of America, to see "The Best LIttle Whorehouse in Texas". I cringed. I forgot. It was one of those things I confirmed to thinking I would cancel or L.J. would just forget... big corporate event, so many people, I would slip into oblivion. I hadn't.

Seven o'clock in the evening and it was time to bolt from the office. Make it or break it. I dashed to the theater, on 52nd, between 7th and 8th. I thought I would have to put on a good face. I arrived and see C.C., we embrace, kiss, chat. She looks luminous, just got back from home, had a great time. L.J. arrives and we walk in. The theater is full of very handsome men, I trip up as I walk, not looking where I'm stepping, distracted at the sights. Then I think actors, nah. I bump into a co-worker with whom I am staffed on a project, she ends up sitting next to me.

We listen to Liz Smith give a moving speech, references to Ann Richards, etc. Funny, moving, thoughtful, provoking. Curtain raises, show begins, laughs abound. The performance is odd, as actors have books in their hands, and glance for a reference to their lines. Then I realize, this performance has been put up in a matter of weeks, with actors from all over Broadway, as a benefit. And yet, the pull it off perfectly.

I laugh, I joke with my co-worker, with L.J., C.C. The actors are enthralled at being there, they have a glow, a joy. It's contaminous. They are amazing, in short.

Intermission... some watch is being auctioned. I wonder on over, mere curiosity. A Cartier Roadster, Men's. Who know's what it was, but I was possessed and bid. I walked around, came back. Someone else had bid. No, that watch is going to be mine. I bid again. I walk around, came back. Someone else had bid again. That watch will be mine. I bid again. Call to the show.

Second half of the show is even more mesmerizing. What voices, what passion. I wondered what it would be like to have that passion in my line of work. I lose my train of thought as laughter takes over.

The show comes to an end. I run to the lobby and linger. Where do the bids stand. I have been outbid, the jerk walks away and says, at least it will cost you more. I can't care. I end up winning the bid at below what I had expected to pay for the watch. I pick it up tomorrow. The owner of Wempe has my picture taken, cards are exchanged, contact information taken.

Can't even think of sleeping right now.

A.B.

Monday, October 16, 2006

The Weekend

This was a fun weekend. I got out pretty early from the office on Friday - at least by my standards, 6.30 pm. I ran home, dropped my things off and headed to "People" in the Lower East Side. Faustus, M.D. was giving a reading there at 7 pm and so I thought it would be a good opportunity to see him live. Of course, I got there, saw him and then didn't know how to approach him to say hello, and I didn't. The reading was very entertaining and he is very funny in person.

After that, I had dinner with an old friend I haven't seen in a while. He has gone through some tough times, being unemployed and unable to find a new job. He seemed in good spirits, very jovial and conversational. It was nice spending time with him again, as he holds a special place in my heart. After my break up from my 4 1/2 year relationship, he was the first person I met and he helped me at a difficult time in my own life.

Saturday was the typical personal training session at the gym. I dutifully report that the abdominal section is still in repose and not nearing 6-pack status. The workout was very good and my trainer was a blast. He keeps me moving and flexing.

After that, I ran to an appointment to see an apartment. This building, in the Village, just got refurbished so I thought I would take a look. I was very disappointed. I went home, did some work and then got ready for my evening at Radio City.

I met my friends at Ritz, a new bar in Hell's Kitchen, or new to me at least. We had a couple of drinks and then strolled on over to Radio City. We got there just as the show was opening and from then until the end of the show, I did not stop dancing. It was liberating. My friends had a good time and I bumped into several other acquaintances during intermission. Such a small world.

After that, we had dinner at Hell's Kitchen, one of my favorite nouvelle Mexican cuisine restaurants. Our conversation was diverse, from dating, to not dating, to work and fashion. It was nice to kick back with people I hold dear. The couple that invited me to this show is the couple that got married in the Berkshires. There was a lot to talk about, from wrapping down the wedding to their future plans. It was terrific to see that marriage is no longer impossible and that stability and love can be found.

Following our dinner, we went our separate ways and I decided to go bar-hopping, alone. It was nice to just spend time with myself, to contemplate recent events and my life as it now stands.

I ended up at a bar near my apartment and bumped into, yet again, another friend. He was there with a group of his friends and his boyfriend. I got a chance to spend time with him and with one of his friends he has been meaning to introduce me. His friend and I had a nice talk about restaurants, New York, the concert and cuisines. He seems like a really nice guy.

Sunday was just a relaxing day at home. Had coffee with a guy I met on gay.com, definitely too young for me, but nice all the same. The rest of the day I just stayed at home, played with my dog and watched junk TV and movies. FYI, Scary Movie 4 sucks. What possessed me to put that on my queue?

A.B.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Barbra Streisand - Concert at Madison Square Garden

I got these tickets from my firm to the box at the Garden to see Barbra Streisand. The show was great. I am realizing I like it more when the concerts are about the artist's performance and vocal capabilities and not bright lights, lots of dancing, etc.

The show was brilliant, Barbra was funny and she did a skit with a George Bush impersonator. Although it was funny (the impersonator nailed him to a peg), it really wasn't necessary.

A.B.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

James Blunt - Concert - Radio City Music Hall

My friend L.C. invited me to the James Blunt concert at Radio City Music Hall last night (10/10/06). I am a fan of James Blunt, I had heard his song "Beautiful" sometime ago and ended up purchasing the CD. I don't normally buy CDs, just occasionally.

I truly enjoyed the CD and play it quite frequently. I have even cited one of his songs, Goodbye My Lover, on this site. I find his lyrics to be passionately powerful, a pouring of the soul if you will. And with my romantic life in shambles, not being able to get things right, the words are a subterfuge for my emotions.

The concert was magnificent, not a showy, glammed-up event. Just a singer/songwriter, performing his tunes. And that was more than enough. L.C. and I did shed a tear with Goodbye My Lover.

After that, we went to Bar Americain to have a glass of wine and catch up. She confessed she thought that the guy wasn't that hot, but that she hadn't told me because she felt it wasn't really important. She did of course say that I shouldn't feel or get down because of him. I assured her that in this case, my initial reservations had proved correct and that I was glad I hadn't completely let me heart go.

I walked into the office today, e-mailed her to thank her for a fantastic time and 20 minutes later won 2 tickets to see Barbra Streisand at the firm's box in Madison Square Garden. I immediately called L.C. and asked her to accompany me. So, tonight we are off to see Barbra, and I truly hope she tells someone to *fuck off*.

Saturday, a colleague invited me to see The Pet Shop Boys at Radio City Music Hall.

Three concerts in one week!

A.B.

Monday, October 09, 2006

The Guy 5 - Coffee

I had coffee with the guy this evening, a sort of vent what you will meeting. So, after talking and asking him why he would decide at dinner on Saturday to wrap his arm around me, hold my hand, rub my leg and, essentially, put on this show with this couple we were having dinner with, his response was "I don't know". Men just need to grow the fuck up and take responsbility for their actions. And not accept or allow their "date they are no longer interested in" to pay for their dinner when they have known for some weeks they are not interested in that person.

So, he basically said that although I was smart, funny, handsome, generous, nice, decent, etc., he couldn't get himself to feel attracted to me because I do not have a gym body, i.e., six pack abs and a rock hard body.

I basically told him I found this to be shallow, extremely superficial and something he would have, or should have, realized by our second or third date. Not two and a half months after dating.

At the end, he came by my apartment to pick up a sweatshirt and then offered to be friends. I guess he didn't understand it when I told him that I found his superficiality to be disturbing to me.

A.B.

The Guy - What it boiled down to

So, after a couple of very slow weeks with the guy, and a dinner on Saturday with a couple we had met during the Berkshires weekend, things have come to an end.

In his words, although the chemistry is there and I am nice to hang around with, he just doesn't feel like ripping my clothes off when he sees me. So, I am an ugly guy I suppose. I guess what pisses me off is that he didn't say something sooner and still was able to accept invitations, dinners, etc. on my ticket. So, in addition, I feel used.

After dinner on Saturday, he didn't want to stick around and said he would head home in a cab with this couple we had met. I knew then that it was done with. He had said he would call Sunday and he didn't. Further confirmation. Then an e-mail today with a short message that we should get together tomorrow night to talk over coffee.

I wasn't in the mood for protracting anything any further, so I called him and said I think I know what you need to talk to me about. And he hesitated, and then said he just wasn't into me. Story of my fucking life.

A.B.

Friday, October 06, 2006

:-)

I am in love with Tim Gunn's vocabulary and I think he is hot!

A.B.