Thursday, October 06, 2005

Meeting guys online, I think I need to rethink that

I have profiles on several websites, so many I now feel, that I may have become an internet-profile-whore. Perhaps people will see my friendster profile, my connexion profile or my gay.com profile and think I am desperate or something? I certainly hope not! Yeah, it would be nice to meet a guy that would have the ability to make you feel giddy and nice and all, but, the reality is those sites also serve a social purpose: making friends or sharing interests.

In any event, about a week ago, I read a profile on one of these sites. The guy, aside from seeming very handsome from his pictures, shared an uncommon amount of similarities with me, among them:

1. Interest in travel, reading, film, fine wine and cooking and dining;
2. Likes Lost, Alias, Desperate Housewives, etc.;
3. Movies that include several of my own, including Woody Allen and Pedro Almodóvar;
4. Southern guy originally;
5. Enjoys a nice night at home.

That is a very succinct bulletpoint summary of the profile. His interest and knowledge of wine for having been involved in a wine publication truly called my attention and made me want to contact him more than anything.

I e-mailed him the following:

I read your profile... And smiled. I could say we have a lot in common, but that would be trite. Oops. Your interest in fine wine and dining, and life at [Magazine Name] caught my attention pretty quickly. I didn't go to the [School Name] course, but took the Kevin Zraly Windows on the World Wine School course (it is about 8 weeks, in 8 2-hour installments) and had a spectacular time learning about wine. I actually met this incredible girl there who has since become a dear friend. I like the communal aspect of wine, the sharing, not the snobbery. [...] I consider myself a well-rounded guy with varied interests. I think that underneath it all is a desire to explore new things and be challenged. I equally enjoy, but for different reasons, going to an exhibit or seeing a Hollywood movie [...]; a burger or a four-course meal. Makes life a lot more fun that way. Have you been to Craft Restaurant? It is one of my favorites so far. Do you have a favorite restaurant in town? Well, as I said, I liked your profile and wanted to drop you a line. If after you've had a chance to view mine you feel inclined to initiate a conversation, please do. I look forward to it. Hope you have a great day, [Name].

So, after that, we have had the proverbial e-mailing back and forth with bouts of cuteness and flirtation (me thinks), but ultimately, not too much follow through. I asked for his phone number five days after the first e-mail and he sent it on over. Today I called and, as in prior experiences, got voicemail. Voicemail can be such a hideous thing when you actually want to talk to someone. As lawyers say, it can be both a sword or a shield. So, unfortunately, I left a message and didn't get a call back. What is the appropriate amount of time to wait before calling back or should I simply wait for him to call back?

Maybe I need to take a step back and go the old fashioned way and not "force" meeting people through the internet because it detracts from the magic and the spontaneity of meeting in the real world. Something to ponder I guess.

A.B.

2 comments:

tim said...

You left a message, so let him call. If he doesn't, then let him go. Sounds harsh but the truth is, returning phone calls is the courteous thing to do. Would you want to be with someone who does not?

Infamous said...

It is really nice to see a blog like this. This definitely encourages me to write my own blog.
Keep it up my friend.