I went on three dates with a person I met on gay.com. First date, we met for drinks and then ended up having dinner. Second date, we went to dinner. Third date, we went to see Volver, the Pedro Almodóvar film (excellent, please dont' miss it). That third date was last night. This evening, I went out to dinner with my friend H.P. and then ended up at Eastern Bloc, followed by Element. At Element, I saw the guy, dancing on the dance floor with another guy. They were making out. Either they went on a date or met there, who knows.
Regardless, that guy is out of the picture. But, I am certainly angry and left thinking, what is it that people want? I mean, if I go out on a date with someone, and feel attracted/chemistry, I sort of give it some time, to see if perhaps that person might work out. I don't go on a date or hook up with someone the next day.
As I left, he left too, alone. I just stopped him and told him that that was not the way I operated. He gave me the line that he liked the time he spent with me, etc. All in all, what does that mean. They are vacuous words. I said good night, shaked his hand, about faced, and walked away.
The more I live here, the more vacuous the gay men in this city seem.
A.B.
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6 comments:
I think it is very commendable that you stood up for your beliefs. Not many of us do. And, even though you may want to hear this, things happen for a reason.
I agree with you. I am a firm believer that "coincidences" do not exist. There is a reason I was meant to be there and presence this and it makes moving ahead easier. The eternal offer from the guy to be friends is, naturally, off the table.
Nonetheless, I don't understand people and their expressed desires to meet someone special and form a bond if their behavior consistently runs counter to such desire.
A.B.
You are right to be upset, but I do think you should give the gay men in this city a little more credit. Some are good people, some are disrespectful and inconsiderate. I admire you for sticking with your principles. Now you are one of good guys! On a more humorous note, Element? I hate that place! It's way too noisy, has terrible traffic flow and no one there seems to have an attention span greater than that of a fruit fly!
Element, yeah, well, this was my second time there. I went because my friend H.P. was meeting with friends there after our dinner that evening.
It is definitely not my venue of choice, but, again, I was meant to be there. Sometimes, that's how life works.
A.B.
Hmmmmm. Well I don't know the whole story, but I can see why you'd be upset and I would be upset too. but on the other hand, I can see the other side of things too. Three dates doesn't necessarily mean committed, exclusive, etc. Hope you're not offended for me trying to rationalize or play Devil's Advocate. I really do sympathize and I would be upset too.
I think we all can safely assume that three dates doesn't equal exclusivity or anything similar (in a place like New York) and that when dating someone, at least in the first dates, you know they may be dating and/or meeting new people. I think my major problem was having to see it, not so much have it in the back of my mind.
Add this to the fact that once he saw me and saw that I had seen what was going on, he wasn't the least bit embarrassed or uncomfortable. Actually, he very matter of factly said "I didn't expect to see you here". Which would have been a safe assumption.
A.B.
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