Gym Adventures

I ran to the gym last night after work. I really needed to get a good work out in and exhaust myself. I arrived around 7.40 p.m., changed into my gym clothes and then headed downstairs to the free weights. I went through my work out and glanced around the gym as I did. I wrapped up my workout with a 10 minute run on the elliptical and then headed for the steam room and shower.

I went to the steam room and sat down. There were three other people there, so I found a spot and sat down. I saw that one of the guys was sitting in a rather "suggestive" fashion and didn't really pay too much more attention to him. After a bit, he got up, stepped out of the steam room, and walked into the one shower stall that has a curtain. Shortly after, another guy gets up, steps out and heads toward the same shower stall.

Now, mind you. I don't consider myself a prude. But, at the same time, I know and feel that there is a time and a place for everything. And the gym (at least this type of gym) is not the right place to engage in sexual activity (hetero, homo or otherwise). I stepped out of the steam room some 10 minutes later. The gentleman who cleans the gym walked towards the shower area and I told him that I believed there were two guys in the shower stall. He asked if I was sure, and I said that I believed that there were two guys there. As he was about to pull the curtain to one side, one of the guys pulled the curtain open in a very discreet manner, and, as he stepped out, saw the janitor and me standing there. Case closed.

I stepped into a stall, showered and a couple of minutes later the other guy stepped out from his curtained stall and went into a glass shower stall.

I finished showering and headed to the dry area to get dressed. Both guys were behind me, a couple of lockers down. Completely uncomfortable.

They left before I did and as I headed down, the janitor asked that I check with the front desk before I left. I walked downstairs and the two guys were at the front desk. I asked someone at the desk who I should speak to and they asked me to please step into one of the offices. I did and informed them what I had seen. They said that the two guys' membership was being revoked. I told them that as a gay man, I'm not appalled by sex, but that I thought that was not the place.

Now, you might think I'm a prude or I am on some high horse. The fact is, one these guys has done this and many other things at the gym. I've seen him masturbate, postrate and conduct himself in a manner that makes me uncomfortable both at this location and at the other location I go to. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Plus, I don't plan on walking on someone's spunk while I'm at the gym. And now, I have to go buy flip flops, which I should have probably done before.

So, my friends say I'm an asshole. What would you have done?

A.B.

Thanksgiving Weekend

Had a great Thanksgiving weekend and am sad that it is over. Wednesday was a calm afternoon followed by a night out at a bar. I had a good time, except for this ugly guy that groped me. I grabbed his arm, shoved him and told him to never grope me again. He stared back blankly, almost innocently, while a friend came to his defense. I yelled at him to never do that again, let him go and walked away. I just don't get people like that.

On Thursday, I ran out the door (at 1pm) to get some dessert for the dinner my friend C.K., his boyfriend S.J. and their friend E.S. were having and had kindly invited me to. I brought along a bottle of champagne and a bottle of white wine for our dinner.

The dinner was a feast. A festival of carbohydrates most pleasing to the palate. We followed our dinner with desserts and then ran to the movies to see Casino Royale. I wasn't terribly impressed by the movie as a whole, but did enjoy Mr. Craig. Now there's a walking orgasm.

Friday was a mellow morning. I went to my rescheduled therapy session, then shopping for C.K.'s birthday present (a pair of gloves from Paul Smith he had admired and told us about) and then headed to the gym to work off those carbs. I had a great workout, the type you walk away from the gym slightly fatigued, but relaxed. That afternoon I met a guy from Match. We had a nice conversation, but the fact that he lives with his mother was a slight turn off.

Friday night was dinner with M.I., a person I had not seen in a couple of months. We had a good time, but he made some slightly off color remarks that seemed to indicate some ulterior motive ("wow, I can see your package", for example). We ended up going out to a bar near where I live and then I headed home.

Saturday was yet another gym day. This time I went with an acquaintance of mine, a therapist that assisted me on one of my pro bono cases (which we won!). We have become acquainted recently and headed to a good workout together, followed by brunch at Sascha in the Meat Packing District. After that, I headed home to walk my dog, take a nap, and get ready for my friend K.C.'s birthday dinner at Tabla. The dinner was a lot of fun, and some of his other friends were there, including a recently-coupled annoying couple; the type that has been in a relationship for a couple of months and says things such as "I can't believe you are single, it's so difficult". Two months and they have already forgotten. Ugh.

After dinner, I invited them to my place for drinks and invited a friend to join. After that, we went out to a bar again. It was fun, there were a lot of people and, incredibly, many that I recognized from profiles on Friendster and Match. Of course this time, I had the wherewithal to not walk up to these individuals and say "Hi, I saw your profile on...". It freaks people out if you do that (and I don't understand why). I have a good memory and they put their photos on the internet. Do they expect anonymity?

Sunday I just relaxed, met another guy from Friendster and Match. Seemed a little too antsy for my taste.

After that, I headed to Hell's Kitchen to see a show and then dinner with an attorney I have bumped into on several occasions at legal events. We had a good time and dinner at Haru was scrumptious. Perfect light fare for a week of heavy eating. We said our goodbyes, and I went home to watch Desperate Housewives.

It was quite a busy weekend, but I felt occupied. And that was a nice feeling.

A.B.

Celebrity sighting

So, I just bumped into Hillary Swank at the Paul Smith Store on 5th Ave. She is quite lovely.

A.B.

Kinky Boots

I saw this film on DVD (blockbuster.com) and thought it was entertaining. In any event, just saw this on youtube.com and thought I'd share it with y'all:




Enjoy!

A.B.

Batting 1000

This came in this evening from a guy I had coffee with on Monday of last week and brunch on Sunday:

a.b.,

enjoyed breakfast yesterday. you're adorable.

hey, i don't think i'm available for dating, but if you'd like to pursue a friendship and hang out sometimes to engage in snappy banter and cher songs, count me in.

regards,
j.

Mind you, both this guy and cupcake guy were guys I met twice and once, respectively. Sort of feel like I am getting battered over and over again.

A.B.

Cupcake Guy

I received an e-mail from cupcake guy on Friday. Truthfully, I appreciate his clarity and only question the means of communication. He and I didn't exchange e-mail addresses or communicate via e-mail, so the fact that he searched for my e-mail address on my firm's website or otherwise and sent me an e-mail shows an uneasiness to talk face to face or over the phone about something that may not be easy.

The e-mail follows:

Hi A.B.,

So sorry to be awol this week. Has been a busy [...]. Got your voicemail though and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to respond.

I had a great time as well Friday night. Would definitely be up for getting together again though I think I’d probably be more on the “just friends” track. I enjoyed your company though so if that’s ok with you let me know. The next couple of weeks are crazy b/t [...]. But maybe we can grab a drink (which may turn into dinner) after I
return?

Hope you’ve had a good weekend and have a great weekend planned (I think this is the dinner party weekend, right?). Good luck if so!

Cupcake Guy

I responded and let him know that "just friends" is fine. I'm always hesitant about these things because to me friendships require efforts, like any relationship. And knowing of someone's existence on Earth doesn't amount to a "friendship".

Dinner with Friends

I'm having two couples over tomorrow (11/18/06) for dinner. I will be cooking as I inaugurate the Fall/Winter cookfest, that time of year I start feeling all fuzzy and warm inside and my inner-Martha Stewart comes out. BTW, anybody see Martha's hilarious cameo on Ugly Betty last night? It was quite funny.

Anyhow, back to me. So this time around, I am venturing into a new realm of Mexican dishes my mom taught me how to make. It should be fun. My only regret is that I will not have a "dinner date" for myself. That sort of sucks.

But tomorrow, after the gym, I need to run to WholeFoods to get all my ingredients and then speed home to cook away. Wish me luck!

A.B.

Another one bites the dust... and other ramblings

Bumped into a guy at a bar on a weekend and had a short conversation. It turned out I sort of knew him as a colleague had forwarded to me his profile (on his company website) saying that the guy was really good-looking and had shown her an apartment. I didn't contact him because that would have been completely strange.

Many, many months later (a couple of weekends ago), a friend points out this handsome guy and I end up talking to him. It turned out that he was the guy my colleague had suggested I contact. It came in the context of our conversation about our jobs. I asked if I could call him and he said that it would be fine.

I did call him a day later and left voicemail, he returned my call two days later and we agreed to meet for a drink. We met on Friday night of last week (11/10/06) and ended up having dinner. We had a great conversation and, what I thought, was commonality. At the end of our dinner, as we paid, I asked him if I could call him again and he said yes. We then walked over to a bakery and got some cupcakes (which he paid for). We said goodnight and went our separate ways. The next day, I called him and left voicemail thanking him for a nice time and for the cupcake. I hadn't heard back from him by Tuesday, so I called again and just left voicemail. Haven't heard from him, not even a call to say hello. So, I don't get it. Is it so difficult to return a call, even if you don't have great news or interest in a person?

Also, question for you all. I debate this and go back and forth. When dating, who should pay? My view has always been that the person who asks someone out on a date pays. And I have no problem doing so. But my therapist, and multiple friends for that matter, say that when dating, one should go dutch (which I find completely tacky). Their reasoning is that it doesn't impose on the date an obligation or a sense of duty to go out on a date again. My sentiments are that if I ask someone out on a date (hey, would you like to grab dinner, drink, go out?), I am inviting them out and am attempting to show them a good time and to get to know me. If I don't pay at the end of the date, I will come off as cheap or tacky. By the same token, I expect that if someone asks me out on a date (and doesn't otherwise clarify), he is going to pay. This all goes back, of course, to an upbringing that had assumed (1) I was heterosexual; (2) I would ask girls out on dates; and (3) that I would pay for those dates because that is what a gentleman does.

Of course, being gay may alter that equation. Any thoughts?

Also, I have been on two "interview" dates with people from match.com. Both went quite well. They turned out to be apparently normal guys. We'll see what happens.

Lastly, today is the beginning of my sabbatical. I will be working at a client's office for the client exclusively, for one month. My temporary work-abode will be Times Square, the center of the universe.

A.B.

México

México Lindo y Querido, Si Muero Lejos de Ti... is a famous ranchera. It is a song of nostalgia for home. Yesterday, the Assembly in Mexico City approved legislation providing for "sociedades de convivencia," a civil union of sorts. Although a sociedad de convivencia does not allow for adoption (yet), it is a step in the right direction in a dominantly Catholic nation. I applaud my legislators for balancing the public interest, the common interest and equality, in attempting to further equality and not bowing to the Catholic interests.

More information here.

A.B.

As Luck Would Have It...

I went on three dates with a person I met on gay.com. First date, we met for drinks and then ended up having dinner. Second date, we went to dinner. Third date, we went to see Volver, the Pedro Almodóvar film (excellent, please dont' miss it). That third date was last night. This evening, I went out to dinner with my friend H.P. and then ended up at Eastern Bloc, followed by Element. At Element, I saw the guy, dancing on the dance floor with another guy. They were making out. Either they went on a date or met there, who knows.

Regardless, that guy is out of the picture. But, I am certainly angry and left thinking, what is it that people want? I mean, if I go out on a date with someone, and feel attracted/chemistry, I sort of give it some time, to see if perhaps that person might work out. I don't go on a date or hook up with someone the next day.

As I left, he left too, alone. I just stopped him and told him that that was not the way I operated. He gave me the line that he liked the time he spent with me, etc. All in all, what does that mean. They are vacuous words. I said good night, shaked his hand, about faced, and walked away.

The more I live here, the more vacuous the gay men in this city seem.

A.B.