Day # 3 and others...

A week ago, I went to my doctor. I told him I needed to stop smoking. I had increased my vice to a pack a day of Marlboro Ultra Lights and hated myself for it. It's such a disgusting vice, but I couldn't help myself. Smoking was relaxing, de-stressing, escapist. I had quit in January 2001 with the help of my acupuncturist back home. In one session, I quit. I didn't pick up a cigarette for 4 1/2 years. When I hit stressful times, I began smoking again.

On January 17, my doctor prescribed a medication, to be taken once daily for five days, the doubled for two additional days, followed by the same dosis and the use of the nicotine 21 mg patch. I will be seeing him on February 12 for a follow up.

Today is my third day of the patch, and though I have hung in there and made every effort to not smoke, I continue to have the urge. I have fought it, but still feel the desire. But I will NOT smoke.

Today, I bumped into R.G. in the locker room at the gym. For the first time since we stopped dating, I was able to speak to him without feeling any pangs. We had a brief conversation about my job switch, his work travels and said goodbye. I was completely nervous because I had lost my nicotine patch on the gym floor (it was inside my book) and he said, you seem to be in a hurry. I told him that I had lost something and was concerned. I said goodbye, went to the gym floor, found the patch and, as I was coming downstairs, saw him again and just said that I had found it.

After that, I put the damned thing on, ran to order flowers for three partners at my firm, as a goodbye and thank you token and had brunch with a friend and former colleague, P.B. We went to Extra Virgin. I ate the ultra-decadent french toast and told him the saga of my departure. We finished brunch and said our goodbyes and I ran to an appointment to see three apartments for sale in the Village. I may place an offer on one on Monday.

After that, I came home, rested and looked up mortgage rates, calculators and the like and then ran to a birthday celebration at Sala for a friend. I drank too much Sangria and came home to walk my dog and write this.

Long day! Tomorrow I will take it easy and then go to L.C. apartment for dinner and Desperate Housewives.

A.B.

Go figure...

You Are An ISTJ

The Duty Fulfiller You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done. You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings. Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you. Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy. You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer.

What's Your Personality Type?

Update of sorts...

Finished reading "The Year of Magical Thinking" and then gave it to my mom to read. The book evoked many memories of my grandmother's passing and the ensuing years.

I also finished reading "The Married Man" by Edmund White, which had me in tears at the end. Without a doubt, it is a book all should read. Love is a complicated thing.

I have currently moved on to "Dry", after having read "Running with Scissors" and seen the movie. So far, entertaining.

Resigned at my job on Tuesday, much to the surprise of those I work and have worked with. I went to every single partner's and associate's office that I have worked with in the past 4 1/2 years to let them know. I would rather have them hear it from the horses mouth than via rumor. Several partners have met up with me to ask that I reconsider and offered me an opportunity within the firm. This is highly unusual and extremely flattering and I am confused. I asked to have the weekend to think about this and get back to them.

Admiring Aaron Brett Charney for filing a lawsuit against a firm, alleging discrimination based on sexual orientation. Following the case as more news becomes available.

Had a date two weeks ago with W.W., scheduled a date for last week with W.W. that he cancelled due to illness. Haven't heard much from him since the cancellation. Smells like the kiss of death to me, not sure he remains interested.

More later.

A.B.

New Year's Resolutions

This year, I spent New Year's at my friend C.C.'s. Her parents were visiting in town and we had dinner at her apartment. C.C.'s mother asked that we all write down are New Year's resolutions, which were to be read aloud after New Year's. These were my resolutions:

1) To learn to enjoy my life as it is and to accept everything in my life as it is or comes
2) To be a better son and brother
3) To love, and to allow myself to be loved
4) To maintain my weight and continue exercising
5) To develop myself professionally
6) To travel more
7) To establish a healthy relationship with my father

We shall see how 2007 develops.

A.B.