The Guy 2

So, I have been seeing (dating? hanging out with? what?) this guy I met on, of all places, gay.com. We chatted early July and suggested meeting for coffee. Unfortunately, he had plans for the coming weekends, I was busy with work and the like. We finally were able to meet on a Saturday afternoon, at 3pm at a coffee shop in my neighborhood. What I expected to be a 1 hour tops coffee "date" turned into a five hour conversation.

After that, we came to my apartment as I needed to walk my dog, continued our conversation. Nothing happened, we said goodbye and he left to meet up with some friends for dinner. I carried on. I played by the rules and didn't want to call or follow up for a couple of days. My past experiences and showing my excitement of meeting someone I feel attracted to or interested in have always ended in failures. So, a couple of days later I planned on calling. Two days later he sent me a text message. A week later I called him on a Monday and suggested dinner. We had dinner that evening and, after dinner, kissed goodnight.

The next week, we met again for dinner on a Wednesday night. We had a great time and suggested doing something over the weekend. I had plans that Saturday evening and so he suggested meeting up with me after my dinner. We did meet at the restaurant, where he met some of my friends. We were at One If By Land, Two If By Sea and he met us there for dessert. He dressed to the nines. As he walked in, I could tell, for certain, that he had dressed to impress. The fact that he did meant (means) a lot to me. I notice these things, these apparently seemingly minor efforts and put a lot of meaning into them.

After dinner, we went to Little Branch for drinks. Our dated didn't end unti Sunday evening. Sunday we had brunch, walked around in SoHo and then ended up going to a movie. It was just so nice to have someone to spend time with and enjoy it, hoping the day wouldn't end. This past weekend, we did pretty much the same. Dinner, a show and brunch the next day with a friend of his. We spent Sunday together once more.

Since we are both leaving on a vacation over the Labor Day weekend, we had dinner last night. It was fantastic but I now feel a little anxiety and insecurity. We've spent time together and had a great time, but now I wonder, what is too fast what is sufficiently slow?

Next week, we are having dinner on Wednesday with friends of his. I feel nervous because there is a degree of involvement (meeting friends, etc.) but where are we? At T@T, my therapist said that I should just relax. Yes, so easy to do. "Uh huh," I said.

So he is off this weekend, as am I and I am left to ponder where, if anywhere, will this lead to? And why can't I just "go with the flow"?

A.B.