And, so it is, that absence is making my heart grow fonder. In all reason, I am in the idealization phase of this, whatever it is. Although there are imperfections which have been duly noted, the ideal is so much greater.
R.G. is still on vacation, although he has thoughtfully e-mailed every evening with tidbits of his activities. It is uplifting to know that you are in the object of your desire's thoughts.
In contemplation of R.G.'s return, I have ordered a delivery of a floral arrangement for him, which will be waiting in his apartment when he walks in. I hope he doesn't find that too excessive, but I wanted to do something to welcome him back home. I also included a handwritten note.
Can't wait to see him on January 3, 2006.
It is going to be a New Year for sure (for me).
A.B.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
Whirlwind Romance II
Things with R.G. have gone spectacularly well, so much so, that I have that pleasant sense of unease that the more we get to know each other, the more I want to know and the more enthralled I am as I do.
R.G. has turned out to be much like me: we share the same sense of generosity, the same commitment to the important people in our respective lives -- whether family or friends, sense of humor and mutual respect.
I have known R.G. now for about a month. In that time, I have been away for a week in London. During that week, every moment was spent with R.G. on my mind and invading my thoughts. With no doubt, I felt very nostalgic and out of place roaming the streets of London without him. On the return flight I felt this, that the trip would have been so much better had he been there with me, he and I exploring a city together.
Prior to departing to London, I had shopped for R.G.'s Christmas presents. I had felt an immense desire to get him fabulous gifts that showed how much I cherish him. I went on the lavish side and bought him some very thoughtful gifts, reminiscent of conversations or things he had mentioned he liked. When I presented R.G. with his gifts, he decided to put them under this Christmas tree and wait until my return so that we could open our gifts together.
That happened last night. I cannot say how elated I was to see that R.G. had put in very much thought and time into getting me presents. Granted, the purpose wasn't that he should spend money on me, but the fact that he went out of his way to buy me gifts that were well thought out and evocative blew me away. He knew I liked halls mentholyptus, so he got me two packs and wrapped them so nicely; he also purchased some chocolate powder from the shop where we had our first encounter. R.G. made me feel yesterday like the only guy on Earth and not only that, but, well, loved. Neither has used the "L" word yet, but the reality is, I felt loved and, slightly overwhelmed by his graciousness.
R.G. leaves today on his vacation and I can't help feel like I am going to feel a sense of loss. R.G. will be back, of this I am sure and he will have the same feelings for me as he did yesterday. But, the lack of proximity is heartfelt. It is a bittersweet but, at the same time glorious, sensation for I know that I care for him.
As I dwell on the past persons I have seen, dated, hung out with or whatever each of them called it, and then compare to this marvelous man I am now seeing, I come upon the realization that there is an enormous difference between aspiring to make things work with someone and for things to naturally, almost seamlessly, occur. With R.G., there is no "work" involved, there is only a strong and pressing desire and impulsive curiosity that knows no bounds.
Can this be "L"?
A.B.
R.G. has turned out to be much like me: we share the same sense of generosity, the same commitment to the important people in our respective lives -- whether family or friends, sense of humor and mutual respect.
I have known R.G. now for about a month. In that time, I have been away for a week in London. During that week, every moment was spent with R.G. on my mind and invading my thoughts. With no doubt, I felt very nostalgic and out of place roaming the streets of London without him. On the return flight I felt this, that the trip would have been so much better had he been there with me, he and I exploring a city together.
Prior to departing to London, I had shopped for R.G.'s Christmas presents. I had felt an immense desire to get him fabulous gifts that showed how much I cherish him. I went on the lavish side and bought him some very thoughtful gifts, reminiscent of conversations or things he had mentioned he liked. When I presented R.G. with his gifts, he decided to put them under this Christmas tree and wait until my return so that we could open our gifts together.
That happened last night. I cannot say how elated I was to see that R.G. had put in very much thought and time into getting me presents. Granted, the purpose wasn't that he should spend money on me, but the fact that he went out of his way to buy me gifts that were well thought out and evocative blew me away. He knew I liked halls mentholyptus, so he got me two packs and wrapped them so nicely; he also purchased some chocolate powder from the shop where we had our first encounter. R.G. made me feel yesterday like the only guy on Earth and not only that, but, well, loved. Neither has used the "L" word yet, but the reality is, I felt loved and, slightly overwhelmed by his graciousness.
R.G. leaves today on his vacation and I can't help feel like I am going to feel a sense of loss. R.G. will be back, of this I am sure and he will have the same feelings for me as he did yesterday. But, the lack of proximity is heartfelt. It is a bittersweet but, at the same time glorious, sensation for I know that I care for him.
As I dwell on the past persons I have seen, dated, hung out with or whatever each of them called it, and then compare to this marvelous man I am now seeing, I come upon the realization that there is an enormous difference between aspiring to make things work with someone and for things to naturally, almost seamlessly, occur. With R.G., there is no "work" involved, there is only a strong and pressing desire and impulsive curiosity that knows no bounds.
Can this be "L"?
A.B.
Friday, December 02, 2005
A Whirlwind Romance?
It may sound trite, but once you give up on something that for time has caused you solace, it seems that at that precise moment your life changes or begins to change.
I have tried various internet sites for dating (not the hook-up type), such as Match.Com. I had finally decided to become a paying member a couple of months ago hoping to meet quality, dateable men. Well, I had several encounters and met a significant amount of men for a cup of coffee or tea. The proverbial "cup of coffee" to gage whether a guy had any potential. Some I met that seemed to be really nice guys but no spark of romantic interest ensued. This is not to say that I wouldn't mind having these guys in my life as friends, but not the type that I saw fitting into my life in the romantic quadrant.
Over a week ago, I decided to cancel my subscription at the end of its run, December 11. I e-mailed the couple of guys that had e-mailed me or winked at me prior to then. I ended up sending an e-mail to one guy that intrigued me and we set up a coffee date for Sunday at 8. Pretty innocuous one would think, it being a Sunday evening coffee date. We met at a place of his suggestion which turned out to be closed so we went around the corner for a cup of hot chocolate on a cold Sunday night at the Chocolate Shop.
Thereafter followed a pleasant evening, with bits of candor and genuine old fashioned conversation. We were forced to leave around 9.15 when the shop was closing and R.G. asked me to his place for tea. I dubitated only because I thought, 'oh no, this is going to turn into one of those sort of dates' where the quick interest is more related to the physical dimension. I hesitated and accepted, trying to force myself not to jump to conclusions.
We strolled leisurely to his apartment and had a cup of tea, and only a cup of tea. Later that evening, as I walked home I was impressed, and glad, that not only was R.G. a very attractive man, he was apparently not looking for a quick hook-up. I was pleased.
At R.G.'s apartment, he prepared a nice green jasmine tea and we sat down, carrying on with our conversation. He hails from the midwest, came out of a relationship a little over two years ago, hasn't had much success in dating and is interested in finding someone. He also has a playful 2 year-old dog. Our evening came to an end on the corner of Horatio and Greenwich as we gave each other a peck on the lips and parted ways. I was slightly giddy as I walked away and hopeful. I hadn't felt that since M.I.
Since then, we have gone out several more times and he has called me midday during work to come by and have a cup of coffee in the middle of the afternoon. Not only has that been delightful, it has been inspiring. I asked him out to an event, and he accompanied me. My friends met him and thoroughly were impressed. He is gallant. We had a date two days later, interspersed with a coffee date in the midafternoon the day prior, at a sushi place. He liked the restaurant and once again, we had a marvelous conversation.
Friday, we had each already had prior engagements and didn't see each other. But Saturday and Sunday made up for that, with Saturday being a shopping day together and lunch at Cafeteria, followed by a two hour break. That evening he accompanied me to a party in the Village where he met many of my friends. On Sunday, he invited me to brunch at his friends' place. His friends, a young married couple, were wonderful and it felt very natural to be in their company. After brunch, we did a quick stop at Bloomingdale's because R.G. fell in love with a jacket his friend had purchased the day before and after that, we each went home to rest as we were both going, but separately, to the Toys for Tots event at Chelsea Piers.
We did bump into each other at Toys for Tots and then went to his place to order in some pizza. We had dinner, watched some TV and talked. I went home that evening incredibly happy to have met someone decent, stable, professional, handsome and funny. Things seem to be progressing well, but nothing beats the fact that I'm thrilled again, with life and dating. It certainly was about time.
A.B.
I have tried various internet sites for dating (not the hook-up type), such as Match.Com. I had finally decided to become a paying member a couple of months ago hoping to meet quality, dateable men. Well, I had several encounters and met a significant amount of men for a cup of coffee or tea. The proverbial "cup of coffee" to gage whether a guy had any potential. Some I met that seemed to be really nice guys but no spark of romantic interest ensued. This is not to say that I wouldn't mind having these guys in my life as friends, but not the type that I saw fitting into my life in the romantic quadrant.
Over a week ago, I decided to cancel my subscription at the end of its run, December 11. I e-mailed the couple of guys that had e-mailed me or winked at me prior to then. I ended up sending an e-mail to one guy that intrigued me and we set up a coffee date for Sunday at 8. Pretty innocuous one would think, it being a Sunday evening coffee date. We met at a place of his suggestion which turned out to be closed so we went around the corner for a cup of hot chocolate on a cold Sunday night at the Chocolate Shop.
Thereafter followed a pleasant evening, with bits of candor and genuine old fashioned conversation. We were forced to leave around 9.15 when the shop was closing and R.G. asked me to his place for tea. I dubitated only because I thought, 'oh no, this is going to turn into one of those sort of dates' where the quick interest is more related to the physical dimension. I hesitated and accepted, trying to force myself not to jump to conclusions.
We strolled leisurely to his apartment and had a cup of tea, and only a cup of tea. Later that evening, as I walked home I was impressed, and glad, that not only was R.G. a very attractive man, he was apparently not looking for a quick hook-up. I was pleased.
At R.G.'s apartment, he prepared a nice green jasmine tea and we sat down, carrying on with our conversation. He hails from the midwest, came out of a relationship a little over two years ago, hasn't had much success in dating and is interested in finding someone. He also has a playful 2 year-old dog. Our evening came to an end on the corner of Horatio and Greenwich as we gave each other a peck on the lips and parted ways. I was slightly giddy as I walked away and hopeful. I hadn't felt that since M.I.
Since then, we have gone out several more times and he has called me midday during work to come by and have a cup of coffee in the middle of the afternoon. Not only has that been delightful, it has been inspiring. I asked him out to an event, and he accompanied me. My friends met him and thoroughly were impressed. He is gallant. We had a date two days later, interspersed with a coffee date in the midafternoon the day prior, at a sushi place. He liked the restaurant and once again, we had a marvelous conversation.
Friday, we had each already had prior engagements and didn't see each other. But Saturday and Sunday made up for that, with Saturday being a shopping day together and lunch at Cafeteria, followed by a two hour break. That evening he accompanied me to a party in the Village where he met many of my friends. On Sunday, he invited me to brunch at his friends' place. His friends, a young married couple, were wonderful and it felt very natural to be in their company. After brunch, we did a quick stop at Bloomingdale's because R.G. fell in love with a jacket his friend had purchased the day before and after that, we each went home to rest as we were both going, but separately, to the Toys for Tots event at Chelsea Piers.
We did bump into each other at Toys for Tots and then went to his place to order in some pizza. We had dinner, watched some TV and talked. I went home that evening incredibly happy to have met someone decent, stable, professional, handsome and funny. Things seem to be progressing well, but nothing beats the fact that I'm thrilled again, with life and dating. It certainly was about time.
A.B.
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