T@T - Lo Mundano

I woke up late on Thursday, having been to an event the prior night. That coupled with stress relating to my job situation, well, my therapy session was left in a forgotten void. At 8.45 am, as I was leisurely walking my dog, it dawned on me. As I got into my apartment, my phone was ringing, I answered and it was my therapist. I apologized profusely, almost to the point of self-flagellation and he said I was being too hard on myself. We ended up having a phone session, and no, it wasn't that kind.

We talked mostly about dating and my therapist asked me, "Well, what is that you want from dating?" I had to think about that for a minute. I suppose that what I want, I said, is the mundane. He asked what I meant by that. "Lo mundano" seems to be so natural to me, that I didn't really think I needed to explain it. Apparently, cultural differences necessitated some form of clarity. I responded, I don't really want a "Hollywood" relationship -- like the one's I see in the movies -- where everything is seen through rose tinted glasses. It isn't the endless emotional spiraling sensation. Those things are nice, but they aren't the things I seek. Should they come or be part of the package, that would be wonderful.

No, what I look for are the smaller things. The devil is in the details. Cooking for someone; bringing him a cup of coffee; observing him sleep; watching him read a book; watching a sunset together or taking in a movie; a kiss goodnight; a call out of the blue; a hug that touches my soul; the knowing someone, perhaps better than you should; a penetrating gaze that acknowledges your essence; to love, to be loved.

That, to me, is the mundane and that is what I aspire to have in my life.

A.B.

Dating

So, the dating continues. Aside from the SCA guy and F.M. (who never called back), I've met a couple of other guys. I don't know whether it is that I am "jaded" or that these people just don't inspire me, but they all fall into the category of "not worth my time" or "nice guy, potential friend".

I have insisted that the attraction and chemistry I have had with C.T. (who has not been written-up here as of yet, dates back to 2004) and R.G. are precisely the sentiments I aspire to have with respect to the person who will become part of my life. Everyone else is just in passing. Is that being jaded?

Take for instance G.J. A person who saw me at an event I attended and then found me on Friendster. We corresponded and finally decided to meet for dinner. He's vegan, I'm not. The whole back and forth on where to go was a bit boring, but we decided to go to an Indian restaurant. I love Indian and so, it wasn't a bad option; but the conversation on where to dine detracted from the whole occasion. G.J. is a nice guy, regular in appearance and looks, of normal intelligence and passionate solely, for the most part, on a film he has screenwritten. The night passed by like a piece of driftwood on a lake with a mild breeze, sufficient impetus, but not full force. I don't think I'll see him again.

Friday, I met a person from Gay.com. We had chatted over a year ago and then struck up a conversation again recently. I suppose my new pictures had an effect. We met, had drinks. Again, nice guy, but not for me.

Love is elusive. Like porn, you mostly know it when you see it. In the interim, I feel like that piece of driftwood.

A.B.

Next...

So, went on a date with Subway Guy yesterday. It was a very candid experience. He was in SCA (sexual compulsives anonymous). Date over. He explained to me his proclivity, his going to bars and enjoying oral sex with go go dancers, sex clubs, etc. Kudoz for being honest, but run while I still can. That is too much to take on. Next...

I gave F.M. a call and left voicemail. I hate voicemail. That was Tuesday. No return call yet. Next...

A.B.